The Problem with Prospecting and Recruiting

This coming February will mark 4 years (2014) since we entered the network marketing arena and our life took a crazy detour into the world of entrepreneurship, deep personal development and experiencing more negativity than any human should have to endure.

The good news is that our story in this industry has a happy ending.

I retired myself out of my nail salon 10 months into the business and retired my husband out of 2 of the 3 jobs he was working about a year after partnering with our primary company. We also added another sweet baby boy to our family in May of 2015.


Family picture September 2016

Our journey however was not without many fumbles, embarrassing moments and more prospecting faux pas than I care to share and I hope my friends, family and strangers I attempted to prospect have long forgotten the things we did. LOL

But here’s a few, so you have an idea…

Have you ever invited friends over for dinner or game night and very unsmoothly transitioned to showing the plan to a very annoyed audience? We have.

Have you ever tried to prospect your waiter or your cashier at Walmart to have them respond with, “Is this Network Marketing?” Doh! We have.

Have you ever messaged someone you haven’t talked to in 20 years and asked them to take a look at your business only to have them block you or ignore your attempts to contact them again? Sadly, this has happened too.

And that’s about as much as I’ll reveal, because I’m starting to get really depressed remembering all this right now. LOL

The point is, I’m about to cast some heavy stones at some networkers, but I just wanted to let ya’ll know that Whit and I have made mistakes too… but that doesn’t mean we should be going easy on those that are committing some MAJOR prospecting mistakes on Social Media and online.

Something people fail to remember…

The Internet Never Forgets and It’s Ruining It for Everyone Else

I once heard that success in business is all about ‘time’ and ‘place’. As a professional marketer, I would add ‘message’ to the equation as well.

Unfortunately, network marketers today are being taught online prospecting methods, which include the wrong message, at the wrong time and most definitely in all the wrong places!

Here’s the truth!


There is a VERY fine line between prospecting on social media and spamming people. I’m sorry to say that most network marketers have been turned into human spam bots by their upline and company leaders…‘Disposable distributors’ tasked with the job of spreading the word about their company’s products or opportunity, at the expense of the individual’s reputation and risking the suspension of their social media accounts.

Here are 2 examples of the WRONG WAY to prospect using social media that I received in my inbox this past week:

 Successful entrepreneurs and networkers alike eventually learn the true secret to success and it becomes the foundation upon which their entire prospecting, recruiting and business building strategy is founded.

That secret being:

“People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care” – Theodore Roosevelt

The screenshots above are weak prospecting attempts from people who haven’t yet figured out that building a business is not about tricking people or finding the right copy/paste FB messages to send to strangers.

It’s about actually caring about people, becoming a person of value and being someone uniquely positioned to help someone with their problems.

That last one is critical “uniquely positioned to help someone with their problems.”

Any idiot can copy and paste a message into the Private Message function on Facebook.

What sets you apart from the rest of the desperate reps hitting people’s inboxes with their new “ground floor” opportunities or cash programs?

Now this doesn’t mean, prospecting online doesn’t work. I know some very skilled recruiters who are excellent at online prospecting, but just like offline prospecting, they’ve devoted the time and effort to learn this very difficult skill and have mastered it. And if that’s the strategy you want to deploy, you need to do it right or else!

But if you’re still a little fuzzy on whether you are a spammer or not, here’s a guide of sorts…

Top 5 Warning Signs That Your Prospecting Efforts are Actually SPAM

1) Your first private message to a stranger on social media includes a link to join your opportunity.

2) You get angry replies via private messaging and/or you have been reported as a spammer.

3) You post links to your opportunity or website in the comments section of other people’s social media posts.

4) You compulsively want to talk about your company or products, without anyone asking you to share.

Finally… this one is the most important one…

5) You engage in interactions online, with a hidden agenda, hoping to transition the topic to something that would get people interested in your opportunity, without caring about knowing the other person.

This last one for me is a big one but could also be controversial.

After all, #5 is the very definition of prospecting (online or offline), which even when done right… can still feel awkward, result in people getting angry at you, and is very unleveraged, which is why Whit and I eventually decided to stop prospecting all together.

But here’s the interesting thing…

“When We Stopped Prospecting People, Our Business Started Growing!”

I can’t tell you how relieved and at peace we felt, when we once again, were able to go out with friends, visit a family member’s home, or be in a public place without having to think about prospecting anyone.

Just enjoying being normal again, was incredible, after two years of being taught that “everyone was a prospect” and approaching every conversation with a hidden agenda. We were free!


That’s because it wasn’t until we STOPPED prospecting, that our business actually started growing!

Weird, right?

At this point, you may be asking, “then how the heck did your business grow?”

Well before I answer that, I have to say that there are people who are very skilled prospectors and recruiters who completely disregard the issues I mentioned above.

They knowingly and without shame, approach every interaction with a stranger as a prospecting opportunity.

Getting yelled at or cursed out by prospects is no big deal, as long as some people say ‘yes.’

And just like doing it right offline, there’s a way to successfully do it online as well. After learning and becoming very good at prospecting, we decided that we didn’t want to build our business this way.

The problem with prospecting in general, as it’s normally taught, is that the mindset going in, is still about what YOU want people to do and about manipulating people into doing what you want them to do.

In other words, it’s about YOU, not them. We didn’t like that, but still did it for a little while… until we found a better way.

The More Leveraged Alternative to 1-on-1 Prospecting, Which Won’t Make You Feel Like a Cheap Sales Man

Now, I am not trying to be high and mighty about all this prospecting stuff, because I’m not.

If it came down to feeding my family with ‘stone cold’ prospecting tactics or my kids starving, I choose stone cold prospecting every time, without remorse.

But the reason Whit and I were able to quit prospecting was because, with the help of some extraordinary mentors, we eventually discovered an online recruiting strategy, which…

Enabled us to passively generate leads, customers and new reps – even when we were out having fun with friends and family.

(Hence why we didn’t have to worry about prospecting them!)

Rather than spending hours spamming or private messaging people on social media, we learned how to legitimately get Facebook and other networks to actually help us attract the people who are most interested in what we have to offer, using their ads platform! (i.e. going legit!)

In fact, every day for almost 6 months now, we’ve awoken to an email inbox full of notifications for new leads, new customers, new team members and commissions we earned while sleeping!

This strategy is called ‘attraction marketing’, which is an internet marketing strategy designed for networkers and people in direct sales!

You see, if your business depends on you being on social media, sending private messages or commenting on people’s posts all day, you are NOT doing internet marketing… despite what you may have been led to believe.

Online prospecting and internet marketing are NOT the same thing!


Internet marketing is a passive strategy, which works, even when you are not. If you want to learn how it works, I actually reveal the entire strategy we use in a free 10 day online recruiting boot camp available here.

You’ll also get more details about a book, which goes into the nuts n’ bolts of our recruiting & selling formula.

Now if traditional prospecting online or offline is your thing and you want to stick to that, by all means, go for it.

There are many top trainers and earners in the industry that focus on cold market recruiting skills…

(And they do ‘attraction marketing’ too!)

For us, there was simply a certain way we wanted to live our life and that was more important.

I would much rather make a ton of money in my business first and then have my friends and family beg me to tell them more about it.

It’s much better than begging my friends and family to join a business which isn’t making any money.

Which would you prefer?


Click here for more info about our FREE online recruiting boot camp.

Until next time,

Cari, xoxo

To find out more about how to generate leads ONLINE click here! Our business exploded after putting the Attraction Marketing Formula into action.

Whit and Cari

Whit and Cari have been married for seven years and currently live in Utah with their two sons, Kaetz (3) and Zandrix (1). Over the past two and a half years in the network marketing industry, they have almost completely retired themselves out of working for other people and have found their passion in coaching others to do the same. Reach out to them and they will walk you through the process of shortening the timeline between the life you currently have and the life you dream of.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below
Shan - December 3, 2016 Reply

I want to know how to recruit.

Christa - February 16, 2017 Reply

Please help I have uplines who preach what you refer to as spamming and if they don’t see me posting daily or more often they assume I’m not serious or working my business. I’ve basically pissed of everyone even though no one said anything because I think I realized it for myself before I let it get out of control

Michelle - February 16, 2017 Reply

Would love more info!

Tasha - February 21, 2017 Reply

I would love to know more. Recruiting has been an issue for me.

Sweet1 - February 23, 2017 Reply

Very curious

Debbie - February 23, 2017 Reply

I’d LOVE more information.

Casey - March 7, 2017 Reply

Love to hear more!

Christine - March 12, 2017 Reply

I have the same issue As Christa! Would love to not have to randomly message everyone I know.

Kelly - March 16, 2017 Reply

Can I get more info please?

Mia - March 21, 2017 Reply

So refreshing to see a different point of view! My upline pretty much chewed me a new one bc she said I wasn’t listening to her and I wasn’t “coachable” total turnoff. Thank you for showing me there is not only one way! Looking forward to reading more.

    Whit and Cari - March 25, 2017 Reply

    Hi Mia!

    Our upline wasn’t very supportive in the beginning either. Now that our business is exploding they don’t seem to mind anymore! LOL 😉 Let me know if you’d like more info!

Tiffany - August 17, 2017 Reply

I have worked with a non profit for 20 yrs as a Regional Director. We place exchange students into volunteer host families. So as u can see we dont sell anything. Its about creating the awareness to families to host a student. Do u feel this would work for us?

Anna Rae Wilson - August 21, 2017 Reply

I would like to know more about this please.

Tami - August 25, 2017 Reply

Would love info

Tasha - August 30, 2017 Reply

Hello! I would love more information please.

Maria - August 30, 2017 Reply

Thinking of starting a business but it’s the recruiting that has me scared of taking the leap.

Sara - September 8, 2017 Reply

Would love more info.

Becky - September 8, 2017 Reply

Hey. I would normally never reach out like this. I am a born skeptic and would feel like this is a spammer trying to get my money, but since diving into the social marketing market this year I have been more open to say yes to things, so I would like more info as well.

Cheryl D Jennings - September 8, 2017 Reply

More info please

Katherine - September 10, 2017 Reply

I would love to learn how you recruit! I am in a direct sales business and HATE how most network marketers recruit and sell. I want to love and help people, not bombard them with annoying messages.

Suzie - November 16, 2017 Reply

Please tell me more. I want to learn how to make my business grow.

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